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RHYMING MATTERS

05 April 2006

Ahh, once again I bring you one of the secret pleasures I indulge myself in while drawing the comic: juvenile rhyming. This time I tried my hand at an ABAA scheme, so as to spice it up, so to speak.

You know, I don't even like poetry. In fact, I think 99% of all poetry in existence is horrible, crap and makes my spine tingle and my toes curl up into a foetal ball. At this point, my little toes look like fleshy sea urchins who just shed their spines and instead chose to adopt a small pink nail-helmet to wear on their bald little noggins. Adorable. Back to the bad poetry. Most of it can be found on the internet and consists of pieces that either don't rhyme and have no panache, rhyme but are awful and melodramatic, don't rhyme AND are awful and melodramatic whilst also forgetting the panache, poetry that is gothic and as such by default horrible out of sheer pretentiousness, poetry that gets too sappy or poetry that is actually lyrics (and lyrics are always horrible without music accompanying them, which is why forum-topics about posting ones favourite lyrics are comparable to the worst poetry). And there's many more where that came from, unfortunately.

Of course there's good stuff. This is most often made by professional poets that get paid to do so. They too have their horrible work, but sometimes something will come up that's reasonable or even funny. The thing is I'm extremely sensitive when it comes to poetry. At the slightest sign of sappiness or at the sound of one ill-chosen word I wince and immediately close myself off for anything that's to come. When there's a line that's repeated over and over to bring the point home (Yes, he HURT you, I don't have to hear that three times -just get over it you twat) or without any preparation we're immediately thrown into a depressingly dark exhibition of brooding sentiments, I get the heebie-jeebies. Fortunately my Bad Poetry Radar is refined as such that I can spot them in their first sentence. If I read them at all, which is never.

Then why do I do it myself? Surely the verses that I create aren't of any significant standard? Well, it's basically my guess here, since I don't know what you think about them (tell me on the forums!), but I think the reason my verses haven't been the cause of this space-time continuum's downfall is that they're not pretentious. It's not trying to be high and mighty emotional Poetry. Maybe even simply because I don't want them to be. They're born not out of some elusive emotion that plagues me and must be gotten ridden of; rather just my fondness for fiddling with words. Nothing more, nothing less. It's a secret pleasure, to muck about in innocent rhyming, with maybe only a slight spoofing wink towards all the horrible drivel out there.

The wink takes on preposterous proportions of course, as soon as I put on stage someone like Glupo 'Ncore who then proceeds to rant about laughing towels and endless tastings of salt. Ahh, I do so love my little excursions into the realm of horrors.

Roderick.