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NON-SEQUITURS

09 July 2005

I dream about cities a lot. And toilets, but that?s another story. Cities, and walking around and, kapitalist son of a bitch that I am, buying stuff. But there?s also the wonder of the city, that big site with buildings dwarfing me to insignificant size. I love to walk there, in my dreams and in real life. The feeling that nobody?s noticing you. For some reason, when I?m in the city, that?s a comforting thought.

I?ve been in Germany for about five or six weeks now and although I haven?t reached my limits yet, I am starting to feel that it?s been quite enough and I?d like to go home. I?ve never been homesick, but even I must admit that I?m beginning to miss my friends. Fortunately I?ve had a few visits from my parents and girlfriend to keep me from isolated madness, but I?m tiring of my self-imposed exile. I?ll be glad to return in a bit more than two weeks. Knowing that, it?s not so bad to spend the remaining time here. I?m lucky to have someone to take good care of me, otherwise it would?ve been hellish.

That?s pretty much, six weeks. The strange thing is, even though I fully understand what an adventure it is, to me it?s a very natural, logical thing. I?ve approached this with a very matter-of-fact state of mind: I have to go on an internship, I want to go abroad, so I?m going abroad for a while. But a lot of people in my neighbourhood, friends of the family, really seem to admire my bold step. They?re concerned for me, which is obviously nice to hear, but still comes strange to me. I don?t feel concerned for myself. This is just a thing I?m doing. Adventure? I?m sitting in a caravan for two months. It?s about the dullest period of my life! Adventure, exitement, pff. A Jedi craves not these things.

Well, I guess Darth Vader?s still cool, despite George?s meddling.

Roderick.