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PRINCESS DAISY

08 March 2006

Honestly. Who is she and what is she still doing hanging around Mario?

There once was a game called Super Mario Land for the original Gameboy. In it, Mario spared time nor effort to rescue a princess called Daisy from a castle. In this effort he was hardly skilful. He searched through three different castles before he found the correct one and rescued her. All that time that Mario spent rummaging through ruins and stomping on spiders in the wrong place, she waited for him. Wrong move, princess. You should've taken a hint and seen it coming; he wasn't interested in you in the first place.

As gleefully as Mario launched away into the sky with Daisy in an aeroplane in the end, so fast did he leave her to save his next loverboy victim; princess Peach. Peach, tragically devoid of any interesting traits, became his next obsession, as Mario stalked her through every game since then. Daisy was left behind to become a sad secondary character. Left-over scraps for Luigi? Not even such respite was given her. She was forced to trail behind the gang on the same level as a goomba. I'd estimate that she's a notch below Waluigi in terms of importance. And we all know Waluigi is quite superfluous as well.

That makes Daisy a relic that Mario won't shake off and always drags onto the stage to fill out the cast. When playing Mario Kart DS, she's an unlockable character no one is waiting for. Dry Bones was exciting to get as a reward for your efforts, but who needs another Peach clone? Make no mistake: Peach is an aberration with her frilly pink dress and her squeaky voice and Daisy is much cuter (though equally uninteresting character-wise). But she hardly fits in the existing canon anymore. All the while, Nintendo keep resending her to the field where no one is waiting for her.

How tragic. If only she had taken her chance while Mario was still bumbling in some random castle looking for her, to escape. Escape while she could.

Roderick.