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A CHANGE OF HEART

29 July 2006

I was a self-confessed workaholic these last years. I always had projects of my own up in the pipeline to compliment my already busy school and freelance life. I think ever since August began you never heard me once say I was having a breeze of a time, quaint and without a lot of work waiting for me.

This year was no exception and I had my biggest projects to date: the crafting of an adventure game design document, the creation of an ambitious graphic novel (Quelle Horreur!) next to August and some more. I guess I always worked up to some sort of ambition to have lots of stuff to show and 'get' someplace. But in all these years -although there was obviously more than just menial labour- all I did was just finish one project after the other, deliver one strip after the next and poop out animation after animation. And although that was great, it got me thinking. What did I have to show for all this stress? An impressive portfolio and line-up of accomplishments, yes. But what else?

I have hit a roof here: I've made my point; I've shown people that I can work hard and can make good stuff. But has all this working made me happier? The prestige of it all certainly amused me, but I've more or less come to the conclusion that it's not worth it and that there are more important things than this to consider in life. You can't stop the creative vibe of course and by no means will I stop doing what I like best. But all this reckless ambition... My whole life is one pile of work, one self-imposed project after the other. And I don't like it one bit. When others are enjoying themselves, I've got deadlines to make.

Wanting to shake this off at least for the summer, I cancelled all responsibilities I had save one: Captain August. But even this is hampering the complete enjoyment of my vacation! So now I've decided to make one episode every day until I get to 200 so I can relax completely. You know, the thing is I'm through being an ambitious workaholic. I'm not giving up my dreams or my creativity, but from now on I'm taking it all with a slightly larger grain of salt and putting my life's enjoyment before my slavelabour. More work and more projects aren't going to do me any good. I can focus on quality instead of quantity now. I've proven my point. Now I can start enjoying my life a little without feeling I'm wasting it. It was a good phase to go through. It helped me get where I am now.

A new-found slacker salutes you.

Roderick.