moby-dick-(or-the-whale)-27
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OF THE SEPARATING OF THE HEAD

27 December 2006

Get two Xbox 360s (trios cent soixante) in one room. The same amount of TV's. Four controllers. Two copies of Gears of War. And start hacking off each other's head! I really mean it! Get to the flipping decapitating!

I did exactly that last week and it was fun! Holy crap! I don't care much for the singleplayer, ironically, because I'm usually all about singleplayer. But unfortunately, though the gameplay is really well thought out, I just don't give a dime about GoW's visual design. It's so uninteresting, so boring. It's pretty as hell, nicely detailed, but also so generic. There's just nothing in there that tickles me. You've got your random space marines, your random creepy enemies, nice Roman architecture and pretty colours. But nothing that stands out, nothing that jumps at you that makes you go 'ooooh, I wasn't expecting that, I've never seen that before!' No crazy models of really awesome or weird critters. I know I can't expect a Psychonauts in every game, but it just bores me.

Fortunately, the multiplayer is really excellent. It may be unbalanced, it may lack this-or-that, or maybe this could've been better, or this little bit is off, but honestly; there's no game that does decapitation as well as Gears of War. It's essential multiplayer! People say it's the next Halo, but that just gives me another excuse to say that Halo visually is the equivalent of a Happy Meal toy: it's plastic, it's gaudy and it has a pathetic excuse for a main character. Master Chief, you two-bit failed Transformer wannabe, back the scrapheap with your uninteresting design! Pah!

So, that's my erratic rant of the day. Remember; get to decapitating your suspecting enemy on your trios cent soixante!

Roderick.