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FINANCIAL ADVISOR GORLOCK

02 February 2008

So, this is probably new for August: religious satire. But Scientology was calling for it. A few weeks back there was the hilarious, and hilariously disturbing, Tom Cruise video that celebrated him having helped over a billion people on planet Earth. It featured the celebrity spewing a completely incomprehensible monologue and sporting a manic zeal in his eyes and outburst of hysterical laughter. Top notch entertainment, in other words.

But then the lethal internet group of super hackers called Anonymous (let me just take a moment to park my yellow van on a safer location...) let their collective eye fall unfavourably on Scientology and sired Project Chanology, which aims are nothing less than the complete dismantling of the sinister cult. They've unleashed massive raids on Scientology websites, taking them off the air, and will perform demonstrations worldwide in front of their enemy's offices on Februari 10th. Myself, I've been reading up on the practices of the organization, out of curiosity, and found the basic roots of your everyday brainwashing cult using domination, peer pressure and other destabilizing techniques to extort its victims mentally and financially.

I've also been watching the Steven Fishman deposition in full. This is an interview held with an excommunicated Scientology member who is obviously still heavily under the influence of the cult during the late 80s. In his feverish ramblings about past lives as the father of Jesus Christ, the AIDS virus being created by Dr. Mengele and triggered by coffee and other such gems, he displays exactly the same kind of oppressed mania that beamed off Tom Cruise's face. I feel great pity for both when watching them. It's very apparent that they are wracked by some incredible sense of responsibility. Cruise complains about not being able to take a vacation because he KNOWS something and being the only person who'd be able to help at a car accident. Fishman is convinced he must liberate half of the planet and can't decide whether to be childishly giddy at the prospect, or manically depressed. It's most likely another of Scientology's standard practices to make its practitioners bear the weight of the world on their shoulders in order to break them down. Fishman got out alive, by the way (despite his superiors sending him multiple briefcases with deadly poisons and injections and orders to take them immediately) and became completely coherent again (which was amazing to see when compared to the brain-addled zealot version from the videos). Tom Cruise will probably remain in Scientology's tight grip for a while, pampered in the official Celebrity Centers, which are obviously nothing like the slave labour camps normal people go to during their training.

Therefore, this week's comic is in honour of Anonymous and their wonderfully whimsical, deadly serious war on Scientology. I may not agree with some of their methods, but this crazy cult has been allowed to run rampant and destroy people's lives by the buckets for over half a century now, and it's time to tear that can of worms open for all to see. And remember... it's not just about David Miscavige.

Roderick.